Fourth of July Celebration!

AHOY, PIRATE! DO YE KNOW THE DATE? IT BE HARD TO TRACK THE TIME IN HERE! THE CALENDAR RAN OUT LAST YEAR AND I KNOW THOSE EITC AND NAVY BLAGGARDS ARE JUST WAITING FOR ME TO SHOW UP IN TOWN AGAIN! WHAT’S THAT? JULY 4TH? 

WELL, I’LL BE! JULY 4TH BE MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY! LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS AND GROG DRINKING AROUND THE CARIBBEAN THIS TIME O’ YEAR! HAH! PIRATES OUGHT TO BE PARTYIN’ THEIR PEGLEGS OFF, RIGHT? WHAT DID YE SAY? IS THE FOURTH OF JULY PARTY HAT BACK AGAIN THIS YEAR? OF COURSE IT IS, PIRATE! MAKE SURE YE REDEEM THE CODE: JULY TO GET YER HANDS ON ONE BEFORE THEY GO AWAY AT MIDNIGHT ON THE 7TH!

OH, BEFORE YOU LEAVE, MY DEAR COUSIN MORRIS SAYS THAT PIRATES LATELY HAVE BEEN EXTRA LUCKY. HE SAID THAT DOC GROG SLIPPED SOMETHING IN THE CARIBBEAN’S RUM SUPPLY AGAIN, AND THAT PIRATES HAVE BEEN GETTIN’ EXTRA LUCKY LOOT LATELY. HE SAID THAT THE ELIXIR GROG PUT IN EVERYONE’S DRINKS SHOULD WEAR OFF BY JULY 7TH, AT MIDNIGHT EST, WHATEVER IN THE BLAZES THAT MEANS.

OH, HE ALSO SAID THAT PIRATES COMIN’ IN FROM BILGEWATER HAVE STARTED SEEIN’ FIREWORKS LIGHT UP THE SKIES OVER THE ISLAND RECENTLY. I’D SAIL OVER AND CHECK THOSE OUT IF I WAS YE.

ANYWAYS, PIRATE, HAVE YE GOT ANY MORE RUM FOR ME? NO? WELL THEN, GET OUT! YE’RE ALREADY ATTRACTIN’ TOO MUCH ATTENTION AS IT IS STICKIN’ AROUND HERE, I JUST KNOW THE NAVY’S MONITORIN’ MY EVERY MOVE! THE FIREWORKS ARE OUTSIDE, NOT INSIDE! GO OUT AND WATCH ‘EM BEFORE THEY’RE OVER!